Life goes on...

Recently things have been.... somehow... easier for me.. I don't know what it is though. Getting tasks done and doing what needs to get done in general is just a lot easier than it was even a year ago. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or if it's because I have found myself with different people. I feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Graphic arts is what I'm pretty sure I wanna do. So that's out of the way just I'm not sure what kind of graphic arts XD. Life doesn't seem hard and it takes less effort to just do what I am asked.

I'm happy about one thing though! I'm getting a flipUltra HD! WOOT! Thanks to everyone who gave me graduation money cause some of that is going towards it.

On a more serious note, life is going to continue with or without me.... So I've decided to go along with it and do what I can to better my life. This is one thing not many people accomplish but I know I can. It won't be long until I'm in college and that will change me even more... All this change is hard to handle but in the end I know I'll be fine...

This is my last post on this blog name.....

....Robert....

An adult point of view

I don't have much time to blog about four minutes so I'll squeeze as much into this one as I can.

Today I was supposed to be home at 12:00 P.M. on the dot.  Mike and I had just finished eating at about 11:54 P.M. and was putting things in my car.  Mike only lives about 5 mins away if that so I had no problem with putting things away that late into my car.  We were getting the last item my wii into the car... This led me to turning around and seeing an Emu right behind me.  Those things freak me out just a little btw.  Anyway Mike was all "God damnit!....  Robert let me see your phone so I can call Meghan out here."  Greaaaaattt....I thought....  Of course me being who I am I was worried about the bird running away and getting hurt.  Also the thought of Mike and Meghan getting into trouble because it ran away and got it came to mind.  I put the phone into my pocket and ran over with mike to lead it twards the gate.  "You want help?"  I asked him.  "Yea if you would please help me get it back in that would be great"  He replied.  Meghan finally strolls out and forgot her shoes -_-....  When she comes out she went to the gate to hold the other emu's away and the horse.  It took forever to get the damn bird over there... however it still wouldn't get in.  Dad decides to call and is automaticly pissed on the phone.  "NO NO NO NO!! Get the Fuck home Now or else your grounded!"  While he is yelling at me Mike got the lasso and got ahold of the bird.  Dad yelled "Get home right NOW!".  So he hung up....  Mike asked "O my god are your grounded?"  I said "Yep........................." this lead on to he telling me he was sorry and what not -_-;...  

I left while they were putting the Emu away and drove home as quick as I could.  Here is the gist of what happend

*Got home

*Went looking for Dad to ask him to forgive me

*Dad yells at me and basically tells me I'm a pice of shit (I should really know how to spell pice?sp?

*He says I am acting like a child

* I feel like shit don't want to do anything

*I get grounded for this weekend

*I get my phone and keys taken

*I get them back

*I get them taken

* I apparently made a good decisioun on cleaning the kitchen...

*I get them back...

Now I still feel like shit...

Apparently I don't have an adult point of view....  So I will most likely keep fucking up as I go through HighSchool my Senior year.

The end.. write more later gtg,,.......

Long time no post!

Well then I surely have a lot to write about.  Tommy and I got through the play and it was awesome... I made some new friends while in it so that's always good.  Tommy has become a close friend to me however I think from being in the play and seeing each other constantly has caused us to take time away from each other just to get some air.  The last play was fun BTW and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Aunt Laurie's husband left AGAIN.  He's an ass for doing that to his family 5 times now... I hope he doesn't come back he sure has lost my trust in him (What little I had)...

I myself have been as ass to everyone because it's winter.  I always turn in and hurt the other people who just want to help me.  It affects everything especially school.  I wish I wouldn't get so depressed in the winter it would just make life that much easier.  Amanda is still living with us for a while longer and Aunt Laurie moved in with her daughter...

I have been studying for the finals all week (sorta)...

I will admit it's hard for me to concentrate for consecutive hours which is most likely why I am posting on here.  I need to finish studying for my Government like right now...  but it can wait another min or two.

I have been lonely as hell...  I don't know why but I just feel like I'm not really currently needed in the world for anything but to do work and eat. .. Maybe breathe every few seconds.  I wish that someone would come into my life but I don't think that is going to happen any time soon.  I've been having trouble dealing with my feelings towards others and it's getting hard to repress it.  idk it's all confusing really.

Chris finally let me come over to his house this weekend (Chris is the programming kid I've known for a year and a half now)  It wasn't what I thought it was going to be...  I was expecting things to be a little different..  Most likely because I'm used to life here.  I had a lot of fun though...  even if we didn't go eat at little chef...  

Well I guess that's all I can currently think of for now... 

Halloween!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long! Today was epic.... I got a B day cake from Bryce which was awesome! Then me and Tommy basically got to hang out all day. I met up with Shawn at the show and we talked a long time. Before that however I was at Bryce's work with Mari and we all hung out. It was a neat B day.... At the end of the day me and Tommy went to Little Chef! Love that place... That lady makes the best sandwiches ever. .... I'm a horrible person for not posting much so I stuck a pic to make up for it!




Happy Halloween!

Blog finaly

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. A lot of crazy changes have been happening in the house hold as of late. Amanda who is a family friend moved into my sisters room. Also my Step-Moms sister moved in with her husband. So now we have a full house again. I have been attempting to be truthful with myself but I am failing miserably. Sorry random comment. Any way ya... So I have been doing extremely well in school. It is really surprising me seeing as I have only changed my routine a little bit.

Hey I forgot to mention that I have been having a blast at play practice. We learned the dance moves we have to do and such. I can keep up with everyone which is also surprising seeing that before I couldn't keep up with anyone. I have been exercising on Wii fit every day for more than one reason but mainly for the play. By the time it's time to perform I want to have my body built enough to keep up with the show. Perhaps in doing this I will also keep my weight off.

So... uh ya... My brother is getting married Saturday.... It's kinda weird in the fact that well... I don't know ... it seems every one of my siblings now has someone. I on the other hand am still alone. I don't really mind it... I just wish I had someone who cared for me. Even if they cared for me just a little I would be satisfied.

I really want to put something up here but it will jeopardize my school cred. I will however post it after we are out of school. I just don't think everyone at school is ready to know this so you'll just have to wait for school to end.

The only thing I really worry about lately is what if I don't get enough social practice for dating. Then I'll end up like one of those freaky people who don't know how to date... I don't know I guess I'll just have to live with myself for now.

Other than that I have been attempting to get my parents to let me do things alone. IT's hard to because my past is painted with a lot of bad grades and such.

Meh I don't really wanna type right now.. sorry guys don't have a need to today..

TTYL (Robert)

Alone... I feel dumb... stressors....

Well lets see... This week I've successfully made crappy for myself. It seems all I can do lately is F up really bad. I mean like every time I try to do something correct it just ends up being one big piece of crap... .. I put my cloths away I don't put em all away because I didn't think it was a big deal. Turns out I just fudged up about that and Dad gets on my case about it. Then I try to do home work and just wanna relax... nope I just fudged up there I should have also done my chores...I don't know what it is really maybe I'm just lazy but ... I just don't think all the way through about what I'm doing. I guess I just need to think things through all the way...

Along with fukin up lately I also don't feel like I'm really accomplishing anything in school.. I'm doing my work and stuff and getting stuff done... It just doesn't feel like it's going to do anything to special for me. Sure a good grade but I don't feel the accomplishment feeling from it at all. I just wish I would get that feeling... but I truly haven't had that feeling for a while... It's like there isn't any point in doing it. If not only for good grades any way... which is why I will still do it but I just wish I felt successfull. Maybe it's a flaw with me somewhere like I don't think anything I do will ever be good enough. God what a bad complex... I don't know how to get rid of it..

I would also like to talk about that I feel alone. Especially since watching Bryce and Mari and listening to them. I wish I had someone like they do, somebody who wants to know me from the inside out. However at the same time I feel kinda dumb cause I have never wanted a high school relationship. It's just I don't really see the point in it when I know I'm going to be leaving for college. I know I wanted someone before but that was just for sexual reason really. Now it's different, I want someone who wants me. It makes me think I'm retarted though cause I've always been against freakin relationships and now all the sudden I want one.

O and on top of that I have takin on a lot of responsibilities within just hte last week. I have to go to choir practice Wednesday nights for church and now I have to find time to fit John in somewhere. I also have to go take care of B's house while he's gone. Not only those things but now the play is starting and I think I'm about to get really stressed out and just kinda die. It's a lot to take on and I'm not really sure I can do it all..... I guess all I can do is try it and attempt to take on all these stressors.

I have a lot of feeling floating around right now and it's making me a grumpy ass. I really haven't been who I usually am lately because of this. I just have this cloud of things around me that is making me claustrophobic in my own body. I miss the days when I could just be lazy and not worry about a thing in the world... I'm glad I embraced those things when I was little. I have to face the fact that I'm getting older and I will have to be able to take care of myself. I don't want to ... it seems to crazy... but I guess I'm going to have to no matter what.

Meh... W/E... what a crappy feeling I have right now.

About people reading my blog.... Also why am I so busy all the sudden?

If you are going to read my blog (Which btw is how I think) ... Then please keep an open mind and do remember like most people who live on this planet... I am human and I do cuss. I'm no different than that of you guys and I know everyone who will ever read this has and will bring out the words damn or shit and whatnot every once in a while. Don't judge me by a couple cuss words... Instead please take the time to actually READ my blog and find out how I think.

Anyway.... I have taken notice that I have been extremely busy all the sudden. I seem to care about school for some reason and also care about my mental health. I haven't been couped up in the house nearly as much as I was last year. I enjoy getting out and being away from the mamoth (my computer).

I went to voice lessons today and talked to Ivanna for a while. I talked to her about my blog and if I should be truthful on it... (because people don't seem to like it) . She said yes I should, but I shouldn't dwell on dissing them to much. You know just a mention here or there. After voice lessons I talked to Hailey for a while about random shit because that's what I usually do when I end up talking to her. I called Bryce and Mari decided to pick up (I don't know if I mentioned it but Mari is Bryce's GF). She was lyke " Lulz we are cyberings" and I was lyke "wrrrrrrrrprghghr?"....

Ya so after that I went to B's because I'm house sitting for him this weekend and next. He showed me what to do and what not. I'm not really psyched to be doing it.. but meh... I don't mind. So I get home and talk to Bryce and Mari some more... I'm so happy for them ( at the same time though I'm not gonna lie.. I wish I had someone T_T). I'm really happy for Bryce though... he's needed someone I think anyway for a while.

After talking to them and what not I get bitched at by daddy-o... Well not Exactly Bitched persay... but maybe a little bit of concern talk mixed with feelings of worry and frustration.. He needs to learn how to separate what he is going to talk about .... He just kinda lets it all come out at once and you know... Spring onto your ears until you bleed out of em.

So Dad talked to me about my blog. He said Red ( I know you are reading this >:)~ ) said I had said damn on it... Woopty do I said Damn. Now that wasn't his problem. His problem was that what if I grow older and someone comes and reads my blog then uses it against me? Well I told him that it just shows I have nothing to hide. He didn't really have a counter argument for that so he just did what he always does. He just made sure I understood the point. Then I got a concern talk ( I like that better than yelling cause he wasn't yelling ... it was more of a strong tone) about my glasses. My warranty will run out tomorrow and I need to go get them replaced.. No problem there I just have to go after church. Then we had a discussion about my MD (Muscular Dystrophy.) and how I need to make an appointment with the MDA clinic to prove I have it. Then we need to finish up the SS work and stuff. It wasn't a bad discussion... just felt as if I wasn't able to keep up with the conversation at all cause I'm bad about details... and that's what he's good at. So he had me by the balls and all points in time during our conversation. Meh W/E I understood it all... I know I need to get ready for RL but I don't wanna... I guess I don't have a choice though so...

I just kinda after that posted this and ran around on facebook and talked to Richard and Seth and Wess. Nothing much left to say other than I can't wait to hang out with Bryce tomorrow... He's such and awesome friend. I just hope I don't ruin this friendship like I do most of my others (I.E. Mike)


NIGHT :D